DIALOGUE NOT DEBATE  

 

 

RAFI AAMER…LETTER NO 7…MAY 18TH, 2006

NON TRADITIONAL PEOPLE AND RELATIONSHIPS

Dear Rafi, While I was talking to Masood Munawar I remembered the letter you had written when you were inspired by Mohammad Gill’s article about Mixed Marriages. When I read that letter again I was inspired to translate it in Urdu and include it in our project of the Urdu book From Islam to Humanism. I wanted your story to be included with the stories of my other free thinker friends: Rafiq Sultan, Askari Naqvi, Zahra Naqvi and Nauroz Arif.

I am sending you my humble translation. I hope you like it. I tried to capture the essence and took some liberties. Some people say ‘translation is like a woman, if she is faithful she is not beautiful, and if she is beautiful, she is not faithful’ I do not fully agree with that statement as it sounds like a sexist statement but it is amusing. So feel free to make the translation as faithful and beautiful as you wish. We might be able to have both qualities in the translation.

While reading your story about your relationship with your sweetheart wife I thought I should introduce you to my sweetheart Bette Davis as I would like you to meet her one of these days. I met her in 1978 when I was doing my psychiatry training at Memorial University in Newfoundland. We used to do psychotherapy together and then we became friends. Over the years we stayed in contact and nearly three years ago I shared with her how much I was fond of her and would like us to become sweethearts. I was pleased to know that feelings were mutual. So she moved to Ontario with her daughter Adriana who she had adopted from Romania when Adriana was only two weeks old. Adriana is 15 now and we have a wonderful relationship. She is quite creative and loves horses.

Now Bette and I have become friends, colleagues and sweethearts. We wrote two books together and presently she is editing my next book Freedom of Religion…Freedom from Religion.

I was impressed by your insight that all couples have conflicts and the future health and happiness of the couple depends upon their capacity to resolve conflicts. Bette and I had a crisis last week but we were able to resolve it and I feel fortunate that our love and adoration helped us transform our breakdown into a breakthrough. I feel more peaceful in our relationship and so does she. That crisis inspired me to write a poem titled LAST LOVE that I want to share with you. I hope you like it.

Affectionately, Sohail

May 18th, 2006

 

 

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