Dear Abbas !

Over the years I have come to the realization that all of us, as human beings, have different dimensions to our personality, different aspects to our SELF. It is very difficult to talk about those dimensions and aspects in logical and rational way because they encompass those areas of our existence that transcends logic. For my own convenience, I have adopted a few terms and expressions that help me communicate with others in a meaningful way. I am always aware of the limitation of words, as they conceal more than they reveal.

One aspect of our personality is our Conditioned Self. This Conditioned Self is the outcome of the conditioning on the family and school and the culture we all grow up in. All those institutions try their best to transmit the traditions of that social environment. It is done so that we all fit smoothly in the culture we grow up.

When we reach our adolescence we become aware of this conditioning and also realize that we have another side to our personality that I call Creative Self. Some people also call it Natural Self or Authentic Self. Such Creative Self in many cases gets suffocated in the midst of Conditioned Self.

By the time I was a teenager I was well aware of my Creative Self. I was also aware that it is a very special, unique aspect of myself. It was life’s precious gift and I had to take care of it. I was apprehensive though. I expressed that apprehension in a short poem.

APPREHENSION

I am afraid

The noise of the outside world

Will drown one day

The music inside.

I gradually learnt to be friends with my Creative Self and nurture it so that it could grow to its maximum potential. For me the best way to develop it was through Creative Writing. In Creative Writing my Creative Self not only found Creative Expression but also a was for me to have Creative Communication with others. Creative Writing has been a great source of personal satisfaction for me. It made my life meaningful and worthwhile. It gave me a reason to live. It helped me resolve my inner conflicts and dilemmas and gave me a sense of accomplishment when I could articulate it in a meaningful way. Since I used words, as a medium of my expression, I developed a special relationship with words. I gradually became aware of the colors and sounds and moods and meanings of words. It was a wonderful experience. Reading other writer’s poetry and fiction and essays was an intoxicating experience. I could read one line, one verse, one couplet, one paragraph and be under its influence for days. Those readings inspired me to write and then I would play with words and meanings and create my own poetry and stories and essays. It seemed as if I was developing a love affair with my own Creative Self and we both danced in ecstasy with each other for hours.

After developing the fascination with words, I also realized that our relationship with words was very personal, very intimate. We all give meanings to words that dictionaries cannot describe. It is because words stir up emotions in us based on our previous experiences. The same word “ MOTHER” can generate a wonderful meaning in a person who has experienced a nurturing mother or it can induce a painful feeling in person who experienced smothering instead of mothering.

Becoming aware of the relationship of words with feelings helped me bridge the distance between poetry and psychotherapy. I became aware that psychotherapy was called Talking Cure because the therapist used the power of words to heal emotional problems. The therapist is aware of the power of words and knows that as people are able to articulate their pains and put words to their sufferings they start to feel better. The significance of words helped me introduce letter writing and journal writing in therapy. I ask my patients to keep a record of their significant life experiences and write letters to them. There are times I write them back and I have frequently used my patients’ letters, diaries and journals to highlight the process of therapy.

In my life my creative writing as well as my creative psychotherapy experiences has helped me discover my Creative Lifestyle. I find every experience of life as an opportunity to grow and if I am able to share my experiences with my friends and touch their hearts, then I am able to establish Creative Friendships in which all of us grow. In such relationships people can not only grow alone but also grow together.

I feel fortunate to have discovered such a Creative Lifestyle.

Sincerely Sohail